Prayers Beyond Words
Jeanne Stevens | September 6, 2026
What do you do when life gets so heavy that you run out of words to pray? In this message we explore Romans 8 and discover that the Holy Spirit steps into our weakness, carrying our groans and sighs when we cannot find the words ourselves. We unpack a simple, practical way to pray through the Spirit using the word PRAYER as a guide, so prayer becomes less about performance and more about presence. Whether its through grief, disappointment, exhaustion, or seasons of doubt, God is never distant and you are never without a way to pray.
And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.
Connect
When was the last time you didn’t have words for a situation that involved a family member or friend? How did you handle that situation?
When was the last time you sat and just were calm with no distractions?
Discuss
Read
John 16: 33. What does Jesus tell us about our time on earth? How does this verse give you hope or comfort?
In our times of suffering, those extremely tough seasons of life, we often quit talking to God. Why does this happen?
When Jesus ascended to heaven, He left us the Spirit. As believers we can have the confidence that the Spirit is always with us, the Spirit dwells within us. Look at
Romans 8:26-27 (NLT) again. Notice each of the action verbs attached to the Spirit. What is Paul saying to us about the Spirit using these verbs? Why is that so important for us as believers?
Read
1 Corinthians 2:12-13. In this passage Paul teaches us more about the Spirit. How do these two verses from Corinthians tie back to the two verses from Romans? When we are in a season of trouble, how will the spirit of the world try to take the place of the Holy Spirit if we let it?
Sometimes in today’s world, it is hard to let go and remember
Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.” How in your life can you find the time to just be still and be in God’s presence? What helps you stay in His presence even when you don’t feel close to Him?
Read
Matthew 6:31-33,
Matthew 28:20, 1 Peter: 5:7,
Philippians 1:6, and
Psalm 139:1-18. How do all of these verses tie back to what Paul says in Romans about the Spirit? How do these verses add to your comfort and awe that the Spirit “has your back” at all times, even when you don’t have words?
Action Steps
Even if you’re not in a season of turmoil right now, at some point this week practice a part of the acronym.
S- Sit in God’s presence
P- Pray with your breath
I- Invite the Spirit to intercede
R- Release groans and sighs when there are no words
I- Invoke a single word
T- Trust your body
Sometimes worship music can help us “Be still and know He is God.” This week put together a small playlist of those songs that help you in that manner and help guide you to the Spirit.
Pray
Come this week Holy Spirit and reside alongside me. Let me feel your presence in a way I have never felt before. Guide me throughout this week leading me in the direction I should go. Help me to keep my focus on all things from above and not on the things of this world. Remind me to always single task God, as He should be at the forefront of all I do. Help me to find the time to just sit in His presence so that I may know His desires for my life. Holy Spirit calm my anxiety and deliver to me the peace that can only come from God. I ask all these things in the name of Jesus, Amen.
Well, happy Labor Day, Crossing. How are we doing today? Great. I think you can do better than that at 9:00 on a Sunday morning. How are y'all doing today? Good. Good. Good. It is so good to be with you. My name is Jeannie Stevens, as Dave just said. And my husband, Jarrett, has actually been coming to The Crossing every summer, I think since 2010. We tried to figure it out last night. I think he's been coming since 2010. And every time he comes back, he just raves about all of you. You are like his second church home each summer, and so I'm hoping this feels like you're getting a bit of an upgrade with me here today. And I'm just so thrilled to be with you. And as Dave mentioned, Jarrett and I, we started a church in downtown Chicago 16 years ago called Soul City Church, and it's just an incredible community, a beautifully diverse and transforming, Jesus-loving community of thousands of people trying to find and follow Jesus. And so it's just a privilege to co-pastor together. But we also co-parent. We have two kids. We have a 20-year-old, Elijah. He is a junior at Baylor University, and they lost by one point to Auburn last night. It was painful. Whoo. It was painful. I'm still recovering, so I'm going to go down for prayer after the service. And he is a part of the basketball program there. He wants to be a basketball coach one day. So that's Elijah. And our daughter, Gigi, is 18, and she is a freshman at Pepperdine University. And so you should pray for her. She is struggling in Malibu, California. It's a really hard place to go to school. But we obviously just entered a whole new era of our life. We are now empty nesters, and for the last three weeks, this little guy right here, Louie, he thinks this is the best season we've ever had. He is getting more attention than he has ever had his entire life. He's hoping the kids never come home. Ah, he loves the empty nesting life. And Jarrett and I have found that our favorite new television show is Life360. We just watch our kids on our app and just watch them walk around the campus and wherever they're going and whatever they're doing. So three weeks into this new era is going great. And this past August, Jarrett and I, not only are we empty nesters, we celebrated 30 years of marriage, which is kind of hard to believe. The strangest thing about celebrating 30 years of marriage is I'm only 39. So I don't know how that all works out. But when Jarrett and I got married, obviously we spoke words to one another, right? We shared vows, we communicated our commitments, and while those were meaningful words, I'm pretty sure that if Jarrett and I had only depended on the words that we spoke on August 10th, 1996, and never spoke them again, I'm not sure the kind of marriage we would have today. Because words matter, but it's also the words we don't say. Those also matter. And I know that there are many times probably when Jarrett is just gazing at me and loving me and thinking to himself, "Gosh, I have no words for this woman." And I know I can have testimony to the fact that there are many times he has said words, and I have thought to myself, "I have no words over what it is that you just said." This is true in every relationship, isn't it? There are times when we have words, and then there are times when we don't have words. It's true in friendships, it's true with work colleagues, and it is true in our relationship with God. And many people describe prayer as a conversation with God. But prayer is not just about the words we say to God. It is about the life we live with God. And so much of that life is evident in the moments when we don't have words, when we don't know what to say. And having a conversation with God is not the only way that we connect with God. And that's true in our relationship with one another. Our relationship with one another is not just about what we say to each other. That moment when we were dropping Gigi off and we were leaving her, there was a moment when I was just hugging her, and tears were streaming down my face, and I had no words. I had no words. There have been times, probably like me, where you have found yourself overwhelmed, or you have found yourself frustrated, and you just had no words. And how many of us would be honest enough today to say there have been moments, even in your relationship with God, where things just seemed to not be moving in the way that you thought that they were going to be moving? And if you were honest, can you just say, has there been moments when you just didn't know what to say to God? I know I have been there. And I love what John Bunyan says. He says that, "In prayer, it is better to have a heart without words than words without heart." Sometimes our hearts are just overwhelmed. Sometimes our hearts hold so much, and there are no words to say or even to pray. And that is the question that I want to wrestle with this weekend. How do you pray when you don't know what to say? How do you pray to God when you don't even know what to say anymore? And I'm not just talking about structuring your prayers and making it sound like you really know what you're doing in prayer. We've all been there. And especially those of us that are exploring a relationship with God, and we're not even sure about all of this, right? How do you talk to God when you don't know what to say? But what I'm talking about this weekend is what do you do when life starts life-ing? When life gets really hard, when you are blindsided by something that you didn't see coming. Moments when you feel overwhelmed or you have questions, or there's doubts. When you feel shame or regret over a decision that you made in your past. When you look at all that's happening in the world right now, and everywhere you look, it just feels like there's pain. Or maybe one of the hardest moments is when you flat out feel disappointed with God because you've prayed, and you've waited, and you've hoped, and for whatever reason, God has not answered your prayers the way that you wanted. How do you pray when you don't know what to say? And the Bible gives us so much hope when we find ourselves in those seasons, when we need to move beyond words with God. And I want to dive into one of those particular passages this weekend. It's actually found in the Book of Romans. And so if you brought along a Bible, I'd love for you to open it up. Or maybe you want to open up the Bible app on your phone or something like that. Just don't check your texts. But we're going to also put it up here on the screen for you real quick. Romans 8:26 through 27. And I actually love this passage of scripture, and it is from a letter that Paul wrote to the church in Rome, and this little part of the letter is entitled Present Suffering and Future Glory. And essentially, Paul is writing this whole chapter, and he's talking about what do you do? How do you endure life's hardships? Because Jesus himself said, "In this world, you will have trouble." He wasn't saying, like, maybe every once in a while, things are going to be difficult. He said you will face challenge. You will face trouble. And now we're not going to go through the entire chapter here, but there are many theologians that believe that Romans 8 is one of the richest chapters in the whole Bible. And what I most appreciate about these verses that we're going to look at is I appreciate Paul's vulnerability in this passage because he's not just writing as somebody that lived a charmed life and nothing ever went wrong for him. Paul did not ascribe to Christian platitudes. He did not have a bumper sticker on the back of his chariot that said, "Let go and let God." Paul had significant suffering in his life. He was imprisoned. He faced character attacks. Paul was canceled long before cancel culture. He faced relational pain. Most historians believe that Paul was never married, so he undoubtedly faced loneliness. He had financial struggles. He carried lots of emotional burdens. And so there is no doubt that Paul faced moments in prayer where he did not know what to say. And this is what he says in his letter. He says, "We do not know when we are in a moment when we do not know in the same way when we don't know what we ought to pray. The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We don't know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." So when you feel weak, when you are without words, it says the Spirit helps us. So who's the Spirit? Well, the Bible describes the Trinity, that there is Father Son, and Spirit. And that Jesus, after he ascended to heaven, left behind the Spirit as this guide, as this counselor. And so Paul is saying, "This counselor is with you." In the moments when you are without words, in the moments when you are most troubled, the Spirit helps you. Now, when I'm trying to understand scripture, I often like to go back to the original language so I understand what do all of these words actually mean. What does it mean that the Spirit helps me? How do I know that? And the word help is translated in the Greek to this word, . Can you try saying that? . Very good. You can say that you learned a Greek word at church today. . And is an action verb. It is an active verb, and it literally is translated like someone comes alongside another person that is carrying something heavy. They're carrying something that they actually can't carry themselves. It's too heavy for them. And essentially, means that the Spirit picks up that heavy thing. Literally picks up the burden. So imagine two people trying to lift something far too heavy for either of them alone, and essentially, one comes along and says, "I got that. I'm going to carry that thing for you. That thing that is too much, that thing that is overwhelming, that thing that feels like it is just dragging you down, I got it." And that's what Paul is saying the Spirit does for us. I got it. I got you. I know that this doesn't make sense in your life. I know this feels like too much. This diagnosis, this pain, this loss, this breakup, this direction that you're not sure to take. The Spirit says, "I got you." And the Spirit doesn't just help us. What the passage actually is specifically saying is it helps our weakness itself. And this is a powerful truth for us to consider theologically, because when it comes to the intimacy that we can have with the Holy Spirit, when you have no words, it means that the Spirit isn't just off in another room waiting for you to call upon the Spirit. Spirit's not distant. Spirit's not far away. When you have no words, the Spirit inside of you literally says, "I'm going to carry that. I'm going to lift that off of you. I am going to share in the burden." You're not expected to just power your way through, to just muscle yourself through the difficulty. The Spirit is not just sympathetic, the Spirit is active and does something. The Spirit lifts that burden. And Paul says, "When we don't know what we ought to pray for," acknowledging that there are times in our human weakness that we can even be led to a loss of spiritual clarity, like, "God, I don't even know what to say anymore. I don't know what you want. I don't know which way to turn." That the Spirit even is able, in those moments when we feel disoriented, to guide us. And essentially what Paul is saying is that there are even times when we have no words. The passage describes those moments as a spiritual groan. A spiritual groan. I want you to give me your best groan, like just, "Ugh." Oh, you're much better than that. Give me your best, like, "Argh, I'm so frustrated." Yes. Groaning, essentially, Paul is saying in this moment, when you are so frustrated, you don't know what to do. You don't know where to turn. Paul is saying groaning is what prayer sounds like when weakness replaces words. When your weakness is just at a point where you don't have words anymore. That's actually prayer. And the scripture goes on and it says, "And he who searches our hearts," in verse 27, "knows the mind of the Spirit because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God." So the same way that there is a perfect connection and oneness with God, the Father, Son, and Spirit, you get to have that same connection in prayer as well. I can tell you that there have been many times in my life where I am not aware that I have that kind of connection and intimacy with the Holy Spirit, knowing that the Spirit lives and breathes inside of me. Like when I went to Starbucks this morning to get my coffee on my way to church, right? I did not go to the barista and say, "Good morning. How are you? I hope you're doing well. Me and the Spirit here are ordering my coffee." But that's really what's true. The Spirit lives and breathes inside of us when we're in relationship with Jesus. When you're talking to another person and you're trying to discern what to say, the Spirit can literally give you words, give you understanding as you're listening. When you're trying to make a decision, "Holy Spirit, I know you live and breathe inside of me. What would you have me do?" And this passage is saying that the Spirit searches our hearts. The Spirit knows the mind of God and can actually lead us towards the will of God. I love what Henri Nouwen says. He says that, "Prayer is not what is done by us, but rather what is done by the Holy Spirit in us." And the Spirit always prays for us in alignment with God's will. Early on when I started following Jesus, I just had no idea what all of this meant. And I remember getting to a season in my life where the normal things that I was doing as I was following Jesus, they just weren't working. I was having a hard time connecting to God in scripture. I was having a hard time connecting to God even in worship and prayer. And I had a mentor at the time, her name was Ruth, and I remember reaching out to her and just saying, "Ruth, I feel like I'm at a wall. I feel like all of the things that you're supposed to do, I'm struggling to connect with God." And part of it was I was walking through a really difficult season. I was in the midst of grief because my dad had just very suddenly passed away at 59, and it rocked our family's world. Jarrett and I were hoping to start a family, and it just wasn't working, and so we were disappointed, and we weren't sure if we were going to be able to have kids. And just walking through that whole process was so hard. Things were challenging at work, and I was having a hard time navigating through that. And I remember reaching out to this mentor in my life, Ruth, and saying, "Can we talk? Can we connect?" And she said, "Of course, Jeannie, why don't you come over and let's spend some time together." And I remember going into her living room and sitting down on her couch, and she had a candle very similar to this, and she lit the candle And it was very quiet. And she just said, "Come, Holy Spirit." And that was it. And over the next hour, I just began to weep. I began to release all of the things that I was holding, all of the pain, all of the grief, all of the sadness. And it wasn't through words. It was just through the quiet. And what I learned in that experience is that there are times in our life when there are no words in prayer. I talked to a handful of people last night that were navigating grief, navigating loss. Loss of spouses, the loss of children. And they just said, "I'm in a season like that, where I have no words." And there are times when we pray through the Spirit, that first sometimes we just have to sit in God's presence. Sometimes prayer doesn't require sentences. Sometimes the most honest prayer is not in what we say, but in our ability to stay. To just stay with God. Sometimes we pray with our breath, a slow inhale and exhale offered to God. "God, I don't have any words, but I'm here." So many of us, we live our lives in two different locations. We live our life over here rehashing the past, or we live our life over here rehearsing the future. But you know where God is? God is here in the present. The present is God's zip code, if you're ever wondering. And so many of us, sometimes the best way to pray is to just say, "God, I am here in the present." One of the ways that I've been praying often is through Psalm 46:10, where I will just say, "Be still and know that I am God." Be still and know that I am. Be still and know. Be still. Be. To just be in the present moment. To pray through the Spirit, we invite the Spirit to intercede for us just like the passage says. "Holy Spirit, I don't know what to pray." That counts as prayer. "Holy Spirit, I don't have words today." That counts. That's prayer. That's you saying, "God, I don't know. I don't know what to say or to pray." Sometimes we release, like we just did, a groan or a sigh, a deep exhale, a deep cry, a sound without language, a healthy "Ugh." This doesn't just release what we're holding. Oftentimes, it regulates our emotions, too, which are needed. Sometimes we invoke a single word. Jesus. Help. Mercy. Right now, the single word that I have been using in prayer, trust. God, I trust you. I trust you with Elijah. I trust you with Gigi. I trust you with Jared. I trust you with Soul City Church. I trust you with the Crossing. I trust you with these people. That's prayer. Finally, sometimes you just have to trust that your body knows what to do. Sometimes you get on your knees, you open up your hands, you let tears fall. So many of us, when tears start welling in our eyes, we try to fight those tears. We try to push those things away. We even often apologize. "I'm so sorry for being emotional." You're not emotional, you're emotion-full. Do you know how many emotions are running through your body this very moment? You are full of emotions, so stop saying, "I'm so sorry, I'm emotional." You're emotion-full. You know what tears are? They're liquid love. They're just liquid love. They have no more room inside the body, so they got to come out of your eyes. That's all they are. Sometimes you just need to release those tears. And listen, I know I just gave a whole message on what to do when you have no words, and then I put a prescription and a formula on the screen. I give this to you as a way when you are without words, to have some handles to know what to do. So to try some of these. There's a very famous quote about the gospel from St. Francis of Assisi that says, "Preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words." And if I could borrow that quote ever so slightly, I would say pray at all times, and when necessary, use words. And some of you know what this is like when you find yourself in a season where you have no words. And I get this sense that some of you may be in that season here today. And I just want you to know, I see you. God sees you. You are not alone. You are not alone. And when you find yourself in a season like that, often it's good to borrow the words of scripture when you don't have words. And so to close our service today, I would love to do what Ruth did for me many years ago. To just remind you the Spirit's here. And if you wouldn't mind closing your eyes and maybe even opening up your hands, I would love to speak the words of God to you, for those of you that have no words in this season. And so come, Holy Spirit. To those of you who wonder if God sees you, Matthew 28:20 says, "I am with you always." To those of you who feel like you are out of words, Psalm 139:4 says, "Before a word is even on your tongue, I know it." To those wondering what step God is asking you to take next, Psalm 32:8 says, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go." To those of you walking through a heavy season, 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast your cares on Him because He cares for you." For those concerned if things are going to work out for a loved one, for a decision that you're making, Philippians 1:6 says, "He who began a good work will carry it on to completion." For those of you here today that need a very specific provision from God, Matthew 6:32 says, "Your Father knows what you need." And so, God, we trust that when we have no words, when we don't know what to say, when we don't know what to pray, that you are with us, that you love us, that you are for us. And we thank you, Holy Spirit, that you intercede for us, and we pray this in your name, and all God's people said, "Amen." Crossing, thank you so much for letting me be with you this weekend. May you go in peace. God bless.